YAHOO ONLINE EXCHANGE

Suzanne: Good day! Welcome to our Yahoo!  Account Verification Live Chat service. I’m happy you’ve joined us.

Suzanne: We’re sorry for the delay. We sincerely appreciate you staying and we’re glad to be of service.

Suzanne: Thank you for providing us the details of your issue.

Suzanne: As I understand, your account got compromised and that  you would like to restore all deleted emails after this. Did I get it right?

Suzanne: It looks like you are not there – would you like to continue the chat?

Tim Hurley: Hello?

Tim Hurley: yes

Tim Hurley: Suzanne…..I’ve been waiting for over an hour at the one minute mark. WORK WITH ME GIRL!

Suzanne: You can be sure that I’ll do my best to help you with this.

Tim Hurley: Eetoriya satti roboconderish mesoloinvictus….you got me praying in tongues!

Suzanne: May I know the Yahoo! ID you need assistance with?

Tim Hurley: LTK5390147—–

Tim Hurley: tim_hurley2003@yahoo.com

Suzanne: Thanks for confirming. May I know what do you mean by “Eetoriya satti roboconderish mesoloinvictus?”

Tim Hurley: just a frustrated expression of prayer Suzanne. I’ve got some valuable and sentimental emails that have been stolen.

Suzanne: Oh, I got it. Are you able to access your account successfully?

Tim Hurley: yes

Suzanne: When was the last time you saw your emails intact?

Tim Hurley: early this morning around 3:00AM

Suzanne: That’s good to know as we can try to restore missing emails as long as they are not missing for more than 48 hours.

Tim Hurley: Cool Metro

Tim Hurley: Some crackhead sent this letter out tday on my account;

Suzanne: But before I proceed, I need to confirm your account ownership to protect our account.

Tim Hurley: “I really hope you get this soon as i am writing you in distress. I traveled down to Spain for an important program in Madrid and unfortunately for me the hotel i lodged got caught-up by fire. All my valuables including cash and cell phones were destroyed during the inferno and the hotel’s phone line was also disconnected. I will explain details when i return. I need your financial assistance to relocate to another hotel and also arrange for my traveling documents. please let me know if you can be of any help soon.”

Tim Hurley: go for it

Suzanne: That’s bad. But I am really glad you were able to regain access right away.

Suzanne: Shall we proceed with the verification process?

Tim Hurley: Thank God…yes

Suzanne: Alright. May I know your date of birth?

Tim Hurley: 11-09-1954

Suzanne: What is your answer to: Where did you spend your honeymoon?

Tim Hurley: Green Acres

Suzanne: How about: What is the name of the street on which you grew up?

Tim Hurley: Renfrew

Suzanne: Thank you for verifying your account information. I can now pull up your account and assist you.

Tim Hurley: You’re the bomb…

Suzanne: May I have the exact time when was the time you lost your emails?

Suzanne: We could use the time earlier that time to restore it.

Tim Hurley: C’mon….I have no idea. Sometime this morning. Just look at the account access times from Georgia. I’ve never been in Georgia.

Tim Hurley: My guess is sometime prior to 10:00AM

Suzanne: Alright. Let me tell you some important information about how the restoration process works.

Tim Hurley: roll with it

Suzanne: The restoration process does not restore specific emails or folders. It restores your whole mailbox so all your folders will be affected.

Suzanne: We will need a restore point. This restore point is going to be used in restoring your mailbox.

Suzanne: For example, if you request a restore point of 1:00 PM yesterday, your mailbox will look exactly like it did yesterday at 1:00 PM.

Tim Hurley: gotcha’…let’s do a restore point of 1:00AM today

Suzanne: Any changes to your mailbox, including email received, moved to folders, or deleted after the restore point will be lost.

Suzanne: I am going to proceed now.

Tim Hurley: that’s ok…Just For Today

Suzanne: One more thing. Please note that we will do everything in our power to restore your messages, but recovery is not guaranteed.

Tim Hurley: I figured as much….grrrr

Suzanne: Hold on tight.

Tim Hurley: I’m holding on so tight my fingers are turning white.

Suzanne: Currently working on it. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done.

Tim Hurley: I appreciate the extra effort you’re currently demonstrating on behalf of the Hurls.

Suzanne: Thank you for patiently waiting, Tim.

Suzanne: You may now access your account to check.

Tim Hurley: ok…hold on Suzy

Suzanne: Let me know about the result.

Suzanne: Sure thing. I’ll be right here.

Tim Hurley: Well…partial victory. The emails back to April 14, 2007 have been restored.

Suzanne: Are any emails still missing?

Tim Hurley: Prior to that, the others were lost, probably cuz’ I did not jump on getting hacked within 48 hours the last time it happened.

Suzanne: Well, if you want, we could go a little further.

Tim Hurley: I’ve had the account since 2003…hence the “2003” in my ID

Suzanne: However, results are never guaranteed.

Suzanne: Would you like to take the risk?

Tim Hurley: Yeah…your’re a consummate professional…please give it a shot

Tim Hurley: Wait…what’s the risk?

Suzanne: We could lost more emails since we are not certain when was the time you last the emails.

Suzanne: Would you like to try a different time frame?

Tim Hurley: OK lets not do it. Prior to 2007, I was pretty much out of my mind and sent a lot of stuff out while in an alcohol induced black-out. It was either that or being in unholy communion with the demonic trinity of Smack, Jack & Crack. Most of the stuff emailed prior to 2007 should never have been written…let alone unleashed and sent to shell-shocked recipients.  Oh well, maybe it’s just more undeserved grace protecting moi’. Let’s let sleeping dogs lie and go with the grace you’ve shown. Amen?

Suzanne: Anything as you wish, Tim. Glad to have this opportunity with you.

Suzanne: In the mean time, is there anything else I can assist you with?

Tim Hurley: Well, I’d have preferred we met under other circumstances, but it is what it is. Just one Question. How come this never happens with Gmail?

Suzanne: There are some common ways how an account can be compromised. Shall I discuss it with you?

Tim Hurley: no…that’s ok. The weird thing about this one is that I never opened any weird links, but did open an email from some God-forsaken outpost in a language that may have been spanish. My bad

Suzanne: Oh, sorry to hear that. What I can suggest right now is to change your password, update your Security Questions and check if your alternate email address has been changed.

Suzanne: That’s to ensure that your account is safe and secured from any unauthorized access again.

Tim Hurley: Still…it never happens with Gmail, but I know your bosses are reading your stuff so you can’t really get into it.

Tim Hurley: I did change the password

Suzanne: I understand. That’s to hear. Have I addressed all your Yahoo! concerns for today?

Tim Hurley: …and will go through the hassle of updating my security questions with this ADD ravaged brain.

Suzanne: Do you need assistance with changing them?

Tim Hurley: In person?

Suzanne: We could do that while we’re still here.

Tim Hurley: Does Yahoo have a Geek Squad?

Suzanne: Not that I am aware of.

Tim Hurley: Ok…I’m good. Thanks for all your help.

Suzanne: Alright. Would that be all for now?

Tim Hurley: Yepper…God bless your heart Suzanne.

Suzanne: There’s one more thing I may need to ask if you don’t mind, Tim.

Tim Hurley: shoot

Suzanne: There’s a short survey after this chat session. If you fill it out, I would be very grateful.

Suzanne: Your comments would let my Manager know how I did today and help improve our services.

Tim Hurley: I’ll give you an A+ as long as you send me a transcript of our dialog. Deal?

Suzanne: To access the survey and have a transcript of this chat, just click the “END CHAT” button on the top right of the chat window.

Suzanne: Thank you so much.

Suzanne: That’s a deal.

Tim Hurley: OK Suzy…you got it girl. Peace Out

Suzanne: Thank you for contacting Yahoo! Account Verification. If you have any other questions, please feel free to come back and chat with us at any time.

Tim Hurley: Rock n’ Roll 

True to my word, I filled out the questionnaire and gave Suzy an A+ (All Excellent) As for the time it took to connect, Yahoo  got a “poor” grade and these follow up comments;

You guys have a very good rep (Suzanne) but your overall performance sucks. This is the 2nd time my Yahoo account was hijacked by some scumbag punk. This NEVER happens with Gmail. Get your shit together Yahoo. If you spent more time on security than pretending to report stories, you’d not be seeing the erosion of your customer base and stock prices that are now threatening your banal existence.  Oh yeah, you might consider giving  Suzanne a raise while firing most of your “writers”.